#ALOPECIAPROBZ

Did you know that hair loss effects around 40% of women? So even if you’re not a sufferer of the disease, there’s a chance that at some point or another, you’ll be able to relate to this blog post.

It’s coming for you.

Just kidding.

Not really.

Maybe.

Alopecia is an auto-immune disease that can affect the hair follicles all over the body. More often than not, hair falls out in patches, but in some cases it can cause all of a persons hair to fall out. The disease can be caused by a weak immune system, or it may run in the family.

NOTE: I’ve lived with alopecia totalis since I was 12, and have a very blase attitude about it. I do understand, however, that other sufferers may not take it so lightly, so please know that no offence was intended when writing this blog post. Everybody’s experience with hair loss and alopecia is different, and I’m not claiming that everyone who suffers from it relates to these points. Try to take it lightly – it’s only hair after all.

Living with alopecia is a pretty big lifestyle change. At one time you could do the Willow Smith and whip your hair back and forth without a care in the world, but now you’re limited to small head turns otherwise you’re at risk of losing your hair piece, bandanna, or literring the floor with your molting hair. Here are some points you may come to expect if you find yourself follicly challenged:

1. Washing your wig and not being able to leave the house for two days
cookie

And even after this grace period, it’s STILL damp. Am I supposed to put my whole life on hold while you drip-dry?

2. Hearing “You must save sooo much money on shampoo!”
grr

Yes, because I’m sure it’s that extra £2.50 a month that really breaks the bank. For the record, wigs are expensive, so whatever money we save on treatments and products is more than made up for.

3. You’ll become an expert at drawing on your eyebrows
brows

You WILL feel like they’re overly cartoon-ish, but you wont be able to walk five steps without people oggling them and asking how you do them so perfectly. Years of practice, darling *flips hair* (…figuratively, anyway).

4. The feeling of taking your bra wig off after a long day
booboo

Holy crap, people with hair are really missing out on this experience.

5. Bandannas – the possibilities are endless
tmc

So. Many. Choices.

6. Hair coming back in a weird order
no

One eyebrow, knee hair and a slight mustache? Thanks, universe.
On top of this, feeling ‘the guilt’ for shaving/waxing off the unwanted hair, because you don’t want to seem ungrateful about what little victories you get.

7. Unveiling the baldness to friends and family
tada

And you get the warm fuzzies at how ‘cool’ they’re trying so hard to be. It’s okay to stare. I realize I resemble an un-peeled egg.

8. People will throw pity parties
pity

You know that they mean well, but it all gets a bit boring after a year or so. There’s only so many times you can smile and nod while people shower you in the pity that you so don’t need.

9. You’ll be constantly on edge for a sudden gust of wind
blow

Lest you’ll be chasing your wig/bandanna down the street. To be fair, it would be comedy gold.

It happened to me 

It was funny
… after a month. 

10. Dating, post-hair loss
ralp

Of course, there’s the initial problem of casually slipping alopecia into the conversation. Then, you’ll sleep in your wig for months, scared in case your egg-head makes him run for the hills. Because of this, you’ll also get hella-painful chafing rash on your scalp which isn’t fun. The good news is, it’ll pass and, just like how you get lazy with doing your makeup for the BF, you’ll stop caring. Note: if he’s a good guy, he would have never cared in the first place.

11. The world is filled with dicks (no, not like that)
roll

There will always be some crap-weasel that thinks it’s funny to make jokes about your hair (or lack thereof), and it will affect you differently depending on what emotional stage you’re at. It’s one of those things you need to just get over and ignore, or have a mass of witty comebacks at your disposal.
I’m particularly fond of: “my hair will grow back, but you’ll always have a tiny penis”. Slay.

12. Even with a wig, you’ll never execute the perfect ponytail 

pony

Because NETTING.

13. You’ll get told ‘you’re so brave’
fine

I’m not dying guys…

14. You WILL get every cold/flu/virus going
sick

Because your immune system game is WEAK.

15. It’s easy to run from the law
fiv

Because, you know, you can change your hair.
Ok, I’ll be honest, I ran out of points. There really aren’t that many #alopeciaprobz, but 14 is such a weird number to end on.

For more information or support for living with alopecia, visit the NHS website.

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