#QuirkyQristmas – Gift Ideas For Him

It’s the mosttttt wonderful timeeeeeee, of the yeeeeeeeeeear!

Installment two of the #QuirkyQristmas installments is all about the men in your life. I’ve tried to cater it so there’s something for everyone and, again, it’s all £25 or under.

 

His Favourite Lyrics Poster 

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It’s so difficult to buy decorative items for lads, so this is super simple yet ingenius. It says a lot about his personality without being too in-your-face.

Buy it here for £10.95.

 

Initials Cufflinks

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In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m a sucker for personalised-initials bits and bobs. These cufflinks are especially good, and I really love the burnt gold ones.

The LINK is here (geddit?), £25.

 

2. Damn Handsome Beard Kit

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The band of bearded-men are here to stay, and they’ve never looked better. This quirky Mankit boasts beard oil, wax, a mustache brush and clippers, all contained in a gorgeous gold tin.

Get groomin’ here for £25.

Song Soundwave

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Combine the classic presents – a mixtape and a keyring – into one with his favourite song soundwave. Whether it’s your wedding song, something he can’t get out of his head or just something that reminds you of him, it gives a great sentimental spin.

Get the tunes here for £19.50.

 

Snaffling Pig Crackling

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Get him the gift of the three little pigs this christmas, then let him savagely eat them. Snaffling Pig’s crackling is like no other, and this gift set allows you to personalise your flavours and even order refills.

Chow down here for £20 (not including refills).

 

Personalised Hip-Flask 

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I know right, another monogrammed gift – shock. This personalised hip flask doesn’t show off, comes beautifully presented and will stand the test of time.

Get it here for £21.

 

The next installment of QuirkyQristmas will be aimed at our pooches – stay tuned!

@dimmickhead

#QuirkyQristmas – Gift Ideas For Her

Halloween is over and I have absolutely no qualms about diving head-first into everything Christmassy. If there are any Scrooges out there, I suggest you avert your eyes!

This is hopefully going to be the first of many gift-themed posts, and I’m hoping to inspire you all (and myself) to get a wriggle on and start your Christmas Shopping early!

The first installment is for the women in your life – take a look below at my online picks.

 

‘Like A Boss’ Mousepad, £9.88

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These made-to-order, stain-resistant mousepad’s are beautiful and cheeky, plus anything that brightens up your working day is a winner.

Buy it here for the boss-ass bitch in  your life.

 

Cord Organiser, from £5.93

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The dreaded untangle! These cute-as-a-button dog-themed cable organisers will mean you’ll never face this First World Problem every again.

Don’t get in a tangle, but it here.

Gilmore Girls Themed Mug, £12.35

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It’s been a long time coming, but Gilmore Girls is finally making a comeback THIS VERY MONTH on Netflix! These mugs come in three GG-themed designs, but this is my personal fave.

For the Rory to your Loreli, get it here.

Otter Tape Dispenser, £11.12

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It’s an otter-shaped tape dispenser. It’s an OTTER shaped TAPE DISPENSER!!! Nobody needs this, but everyone wants it.

You otterly MUST buy it here.

 

Prosecco & Strawberry Lip Balm, £7.45

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Was there ever a better combo than strawberries and Prosecco? Make the change from boring old Vasseline with this beauty.

I’m at loss for a pun – just click here to buy.

 

Gin & Tonic Charm Bracelet, £10

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Pandora is SO last Christmas. Get this funky charm bracelet instead! The buyer cannot be held responsible for the noon-cravings, though.

Happy hour starts here.

Custom Temporary Tatts, £5.76

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For the friend who’s not ready to take the plunge (or face the needle!), these gorgeous temporary tattoo designs can last up to seven days.

‘Stick’ it in your trolley here. 

 

Dachshund Planter, £18

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I almost passed out when I seen this. Look at his face! Look at his plant! He’s such a good boy.

Don’t go sniffin’ around, get it here.

 

Personalised Stripe Makeup Bag, £16

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This isn’t just if you have a friend called Laura and can be personalised with anything you want. The simple but bold design is gorgeous.

Play the name-game here.

 

‘Straight Outta Wherever’ Print, £17.95

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Be the talk of the town (lol) by gifting this modern, tongue-in-cheek print.

Get it straight outta’ here.

 

 

Inside Men’s Minds

Put down the chick-flick, it’s time to know what men REALLY think about.
For as far back as it goes, women have been dubbed the ‘hard to read’ sex, but in reality it’s just as much of a minefield trying to work out the inner-workings of your man. We sat down with five men from all walks of life for a brainstorming session.
This is what we’ve learned: 

MEET OUR MEN:

22698_10152711299116901_3848059823457131073_nDAVID GADDESS is 26 and runs his own football podcast. He’s currently single and looking for love.

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JAMIE MITCHELL* is 22, and works as a drivers aid. He’s in a five year relationship.
* Names have been changed as to not completely infuriate his other half.

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SAM HALL is a 21-year-old sports journalist and a self-confessed hopeless romantic.

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ADAM MCKEE is a 20-year-old student and has been with his girlfriend for six months.

* Name has not been changed because apparently he likes the doghouse.

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JASON MOSS is 21 and works as an usher. He’s been in a relationship for a year.
* See above.

RELATIONSHIPS

Q: Why play games if you like us?
DAVE: It’s a massive waste of time. Truth is, if a lad’s playing games he’s probably waiting for something better to come along… sorry.
JAMIE: As the old saying goes, treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen.
SAM: I’m usually pretty open with my feelings, there are times when I have done this and it’s been on bad advice from media outlets and sleazy ‘lad’ sites (who, annoyingly, seem to be doing better than me!).
ADAM: Mind games are boring, it’s not my style.
JASON: I think I’m always the game actually. The chase is more fun!

Q: Do you remember what I was wearing when we first met?
DAVE: If you were showing cleavage, I’ll remember.
JAMIE: I can remember, and my GF confirms it. Well done, me.
SAM: I remember little things – what the weather was like or how I felt the first time I seen them.
ADAM: Most likely, no.
JASON: I’m awful with memory. Probably clothes though, right?

Q: How often do you look at porn when your girlfriend isn’t home?
DAVE: Around three times a week. If I’m in a relationship, hardly ever.
JAMIE: Just once or twice a month. Don’t tell my girlfriend.
SAM: Only occasionally. If I’m honest it’s not something that I’ve ever been proud of, and I’ve always found it a bit uncomfortable.
ADAM: It used to be a lot, but it’s very rare now.

Q: What’s going through your head when we’re annoyed with you?
DAVE: How long is this going to last? What can I do to fix it? WHAT DID I EVEN DO?
JAMIE: ‘Bloody hell, not this again!’
SAM: Usually I’m just wanting it to end, though I think arguing can be a healthy sign of passion.
ADAM: Anything but the argument. Nine times out of ten, it’s for no reason at all. She just needs to get it out of her system.
JASON: ‘What now? I can’t wait until this is over. I need a beer’.

Q: Does your mum like me? Do you even care?
DAVE: Sure I care. You should only have two women in your life, so it’s best that they get on.
JAMIE: Yes, it makes for an easier life.
SAM: Of course. You should always listen to your mum. Well, to an extent.
ADAM: My mum’s liked all of my girlfriends. She has good taste.
JASON: Sure, but they’re as crazy as each other so they make good company.

Q: Why do long term relationships = the end of fun? 
DAVE: For me, it’s the start of fun!
JAMIE: I guess because you have less time to spend with your mates.
SAM: I don’t think it needs to. It depends on whether you’re both secure and confident with each other.
ADAM: It doesn’t at all. If it’s the end of fun, you’re with the wrong person.
JASON: I think it’s scary to settle. Plus there’s a lack of free time.

Q: Do you have a hard time if she’s more successful financially? 
DAVE: No, I’d be happy for my partners success. If you’re having issues with this, it’s more your problem than hers.
JAMIE: No, she is already!
SAM: Not really. If we’re both professionally fulfilled there’s no need to worry about who’s more financially superior.
ADAM: Nope, as long as she bought me lots of treats.
JASON: Never, success is always good.

Q: What does it feel like to fall in love? 
DAVE: Everything is great, like you’re a kid with a Kinder Egg.
JAMIE: It’s like a weird, warm feeling. That sounds really cheesy, doesn’t it?
SAM: It’s confusing. It’s just an overwhelming need to care for someone.
ADAM: I can’t say I’ve ever been in love properly. * I’m sure your GF will be thrilled to hear this, Adam. 
JASON: Scary.

QUIRKS

Q: Why do you take so long pooping. What the hell are you doing in there?
DAVE: I personally have about six poo’s a day, so I like to chill out. Reading the news on my phone helps with the process.
JAMIE: I like to have a good look on Facebook. Catch up with the goings on.
SAM: Toilet time is time to catch up with everything.
ADAM: Honestly, it’s easy to forget that you’re pooping.
JASON: I actually don’t. With the smell and all I’m out as quick as possible.

Q: How can you have the same pair of shoes for so long? 
DAVE: If it’s not broke, don’t fix it.
JAMIE: Because we’ve got a better idea of what’s hard-wearing.
SAM: Honestly? I can’t be bothered to go shopping for a new pair.
ADAM: I don’t really care about my shoes. If they’re comfy, I’m good.
JASON: Unlike you, we don’t need a shoe for every day of the week.

Q: Why do you touch yourself so much?
DAVE: I must be the only lad that doesn’t do this. I see it a lot, then they eat with the same hand. #Sick.
JAMIE: It’s a natural instinct. Like breathing.
SAM: I like to make sure they’re int he same place as I last checked. Plus, you should check them often anyway, right? * Yeah Sam, not that often. 
ADAM: It’s not like I do it on purpose. It’s just the perfect resting spot.
JASON: Total instinct. It’s just like ‘wup, there they are again!’.

Q: Would it really kill you to put down the toilet seat? 
DAVE: I like to leave mine down. It’s nice to treat yourself to a sit-down wee sometimes.
JAMIE: No, but I still won’t do it.
SAM: I’ve lived with girls at uni for two years. I wouldn’t have gotten away with this!
ADAM: Question for the feminists: Why can’t YOU leave the seat UP? * It’s less feminism, more my desire to not fall down the bog in the middle of the night. 
JASON: Seat up = no pee on the seat. It’s a win, win.

Q: What does being kicked in the balls really feel like? 
DAVE: Imagine being winded, impaled, struck by lightening and needing to be sick at the same time. Times it by ten.
JAMIE: I don’t want to talk about it.
SAM: It makes you dizzy and shivery. It’s awful.
ADAM: Death would be preferable.
JASON: It like, moves through you.

Q: Why won’t you ask for directions? 
DAVE: REAL MEN KNOW THE WAY, OKAY?!?!
JAMIE: What Dave said.
SAM: I guess that I don’t like talking to strangers. I don’t buy that it’s an ego thing.
ADAM: I’ll happily ask for directions over being late.
JASON: We are walking Sat-Nav’s. Let no more be said.

SEX

Q: What percentage of your female friends do you want to sleep with? 
DAVE: A good 60%. Friend-zoning is the worst.
JAMIE: Zero. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
SAM: I don’t actually think I do… I mean they’re attractive and all, but I’ve never thought about it. Maybe 10%?
ADAM: NONE! * No need to shout. 
JASON: -10%. I don’t have any girl friends I can imagine doing that with.

Q: Why are you so convinced that sex is so much more important for you than it is for us? 
DAVE: It really is true that men think with their dicks. Chances are, we actually do think about it more than you. It’s constant. CONSTANT.
JAMIE: This isn’t the case for me at all. My GF’s libido is way higher than mine!
SAM: This is where my inner-Drake comes out. I’m probably less fussed than most women. I may talk a big game, but it’s almost a construct of the society we live in.
ADAM: Girls are as horny, if not MORE horny than guys.
JASON: Once you get into it, girls are worse.

Q: Why do you want to stick it in our butt so much? Do you know that’s where we poop?
DAVE: Eurgh! No, thank you.
JAMIE: I don’t know. It feels nice. What’s more to say?
SAM: I don’t think I’d care about it unless my partner did.
ADAM: As a kid, you always wanted to touch things that you weren’t allowed to. Same rule applies.
JASON: Exactly! It’s forbidden fruit.

So, what have we learned today ladies? Whether this Men’s Minds has shocked you, or simply confirmed what you already suspected, there’s no denying that the inner-workings of the opposite sex will continue to baffle us for many years to come. The good news? They seem just as clueless as we are.

#EASYEATS: Slimming World Pitta-Pizza

I feel like I’ve been dipping in and out of Slimming World since I was in utero. My problem is 50%that I have absolutely no will power, and 50% that I alternate each day between ‘Omg gurl you so fat please hide in a hole’ and ‘YASSSSSS curvy sister you own that thickness’.

Anyway, over the years I’ve tried and tested many of the SW recipes, and I can vouch for most of being f*cking delicious, filling and a small portion of the fat of their ‘regularly cooked’ meal. One of my all-time favourites has to be the ‘pitta pizza’, not to be confused with the ‘chicken topped pizza’, because what the hell is that? You can’t call something without bread in it a pizza. If anything, it’s chicken topped lies. Pitta pizza is simple, fun to make, and even I can’t balls it up.

You will need:

  • Wholemeal pitta bread (1 per person)
  • Tomato puree
  • Low-fat cheese
  • Tomatoes
  • Toppings of your choice (as you can see, I went for olives, ham and an already half-demolished chicken)
  • Salt & pepper to taste

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If you’re looking for a snack, the pizzas should be just fine on their own. If you’re looking for something a bit heavier though, why not pair them with some Slimming World chips? Again, super easy and a fraction of the fat. Simply peel and chop some potatoes into… chip… shapes(?), par boil, whack them on a baking tray and spray them with some Fry Light (saviour, BTW). Cook for 40 minutes and presto, carby-goodness sans guilt.

Step 1:

Cut your pitta into two halves.
STOP! Don’t literally cut them in half, cut around the pitta so they remain the same size, but half the thickness, like this:

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Step 2:

Squirt the tomato puree generously onto the two halves. Go completely overboard with this, because tomato puree is delicious. Just be careful in case of a soggy bottom. Lol.

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Step 3:

Chop up some tomatoes really small and sprinkle around the pizza base. Don’t go overboard with this, because tomato puree’s solid sister can’t make love to your tastebuds like she can. You should probably pre-heat the oven now too. The sooner it’s cooked, the sooner you can slip into a food-coma.

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Step 4:

Add your toppings and go MENTAL with it. What’s the point in a partially topped pizza? Pile that mother high. If you’re a Slimming Worldie, you’ll have to syn your toppings (ham and chicken is free!).

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Step 5:

Put your pizzas onto a baking tray and grate some cheese. If you’re following SW, you’ll have to weigh and syn it. If you’re not on Slimming World, grate directly onto the pizza because YOLO. Also grate directly into your mouth.

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Step 6:

Put your pizzas in the pre-heated oven. If your oven isn’t pre-heated you have only yourself to blame. I warned you.
Depending on your preference, keep them in until the cheese melts, or until it starts to brown. If anyone’s wondering, my preference was ‘get this pizza into my mouth as soon as humanly possible before I die or starvation’, so excuse me if they look slightly undercooked.

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Step 7:

Season with salt and pepper, then chow down. You’ve earned it.

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What’s your favourite SW recipe? Let me know in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead!

What I’d Tell My Fresher-Self

Happy results day, everyone!

Here’s to hoping you’ve all got the results you were hoping for, and with any luck you’ll be finally piecing together your plans for university. I’m way at the other end of the spectrum now; diploma in hand, desperately searching for a job and generally watching a lot of Netflix. It got me to wondering, if I could go back to where you are now, what advice would I give to myself? What advice would everyone else give to THEMselves?

I reached out to all of the graduates I knew to accumulate the top things they wish they knew.

“Actually work. While uni’s supposed to be an absolute riot, the whole reason you’re there is to learn. Just think, you’ve got this amazing opportunity to learn all about your dream job, so embrace it. It might be the last thing you feel like doing at a 9.A.M lecture after a heavy night out, but you’ll regret it if you don’t”.
– Lauren Dimmick, Magazine journalism

“Organise your schedule! Taking some time to sit down and work out where you’re going to be and when will always be helpful. Not only does it give you time to get your assignments done well but it means you can also plan your crazy nights out and allow time for hangover days”
Poppy Johnson, Journalism

“Never be afraid to ask for advice! I should have followed my own advice more often”
Olivia Dixon, Primary teaching

“I would say have fun and make sure you take the opportunities when you can! Jump in with both feet and love every second. Oh and get into the habit of creating your own opportunities, I learned that early on, your lecturers wont be there for ever so treat uni almost like you’re on your own and know that your moves influence your future”
Kayleigh Falcus, Textiles & surface design

“Enjoy your first two years (especially first), because third year is no fun and games!”
Libby Bateman, News journalism

“Take each and every opportunity available, whether it be additional courses or learning another language. These extra skills can make your CV shine and open so many additional doors which otherwise may have been closed”
– Lynsey Kimmit, English

“Attend lectures, whatever is discussed will give you a clearer mind on how to do the best possible job at assignments, thus leading to better grades. Trust your tutors as well, as that’s what they are there for”
Michael Bowers, Sports journalism

“Consider studying abroad, even just for a semester. It made me much more confident, showed how my field works in a different country and I made some incredible memories. My writing definitely benefited from being exposed to a new audience and that was something I took into my final year. I had the opportunity to work for Time Out Melbourne which was a fantastic CV booster, and I also got to explore the wonderful country of Australia during my time away from University which was AMAZING!”
Adele Johnson, Journalism

DON’T DROP OUT! As stressful as it may be and as much as you may hate life, it’s so worth it in the end. Never forget why you started.
I’d also suggest getting a part time job while
you study. The extra money helps massively and you’re getting work experience which is always a plus. Also, if you’re working somewhere you really hate, it’s motivation to work hard and pass so you can get out of there!”
Jade Patterson, Teaching/English

“Have a vague idea of a specific job you want, and what skills might help you to get it. Not to mention it’s motivation to carry on and achieve the best. Also, save up! I thought I was loaded in first year but it doesn’t last long”
Jenny Hewitt, Magazine journalism

“Get involved with extra curricular stuff as well. Try something new or something you’ve always fancied doing. It can be a really good way to take a break when you need one from uni work and to make even more friends!”
Sophie Heward, Magazine journalism


“The library is your friend and not just for ‘geeks’. Also being a geek is NOT a bad thing. Work and stick in or else it will come back to bite you in the arse and you will regret it. Spend your summer working and finding experience so that during academic time you have more time to dedicate to your studies. Being skint is normal. Absolutely normal. Cuppa soups and £1 shots are your friends. The Only person your classification matters to you is you. As long as you put 100% in be proud because university is stressful and hard. Don’t think that everyone copes with it cause realistically everyone is just keeping their head above water, they’re just acting very well” 
Stephanie Arnott, English

“Don’t let anything hold you back! And stick in from the beginning, you may think you have all the time in the world, but it’s over in a blink of an eye”
Becca Leighton-Cox, Journalism

“You don’t have to read the 4 books a week you are assigned”
Robyn Appleby, English literature

“It’s okay to be sad and miss home. After freshers week is over and you realise you ACTUALLY have to do work, that’s when you start to miss your mumma. It passes, they’re only a phone call away!”
Jay Wait,

All in all, just make sure you make the most out of every moment, because before you know it, it’s done with. We hope our pieces of wisdom will be of use to you, and keep checking back as I’ll be adding more as they come!

What’s your advice for freshers? Let me know in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead!

‘Moving Out’ Fears

So the other half and I have been talking about moving in together for a while now. I genuinley feel like I’m ready to take the next step in our relationship, and I’m excited to get started. That being said though, I’m a human being and I have scaredy-cat tendencies. It’s all well and good daydreaming about wallpaper patterns and imagining the benefits to our relationship, but I’m sure it’s completely natural to have doubts.
Here are my main worries about moving out of my family home:

1. Saying goodbye to all-night Netflix binges

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I heard a rumor that, when you’re in a functioning adult relationship, you go to bed at the same time. Unless it’s a show that you’re both really into, you’ll be saying goodbye to watching The Office and Sons Of Anarchy into the early hours of the morning. Granted, this could be seen as a positive in terms of having a healthy sleeping pattern, but it also means you’re letting go of the one thing that keeps you feeling like a teenager.

2. Your mum’s not there when you’re sick

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Assuming that you’re in a long-term relationship, your other half has probably got to the basics of how to take care of you when you’re sick. That being said though, your mum’s been there for you LITERALLY since you were born, and she’s the only one who knows the exact steps to make you feel better. You know you shouldn’t be phased by this because ‘you’re not a baby’, except when you’re ill, you kind of are. And you want your mommy.

3. What is money?

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I swear that they should have taught a ‘basic sh*t you need to know to be a functioning human being’ module in school, because I know nothing about building a home. How can I afford a washing machine, sofa and double bed? How much is toilet roll? How often will I need to buy it? Do we split the cost of stamps? I don’t even need stamps, he should buy his own!

4. Saying goodbye to date night

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This is a legit fear. Moving in together, especially as a young couple just starting out, means that you’re going to be scrimping and saving until to cows come home. Suddenly the £30-odd quid you’d spend bi-weekly on ‘date night’ seems like such a waste when it could have been spent on your lecky bill. Sharing a Tesco Dine In For Two while Coronation Street’s on seems like a step down.

5. Am I annoying? 

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It’s all well and good spending time with your other half on a planned basis, but when you’re under each others feet constantly, you fear that they’ll start to find all of your ‘quirky traits’ annoying. He might find it totes adorbz that you eat your pizza with a knife and fork now, but when you’ve been bickering about leaving the toilet seat up and which curtains to buy, it could easily turn into something that he’d consider suffocating you in your sleep for.

6. I pump. A lot. 

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It’s easy to pretend when you inhabit separate abodes that you’re a beautiful, hairless unicorn whose backside smells like rainbows. The reality is, you’re just as gross (if not  more) than him, and it’s a lot harder to hide your burps, farts and poops from him in such close proximity. Here’s to hoping he finds it funny.

7. You might become boring

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Right now, you can still ‘hang’. You’ll go out drinking until 3 A.M, play pool until your hearts content and hold interesting conversations. What if, when you move in together, you’re so consumed with curtain prices and the proper way to do hospital corners and it’s all you can talk about and you end up being so boring that your friends LITERALLY DIE. What if you LITERALLY kill your friends DEAD from boredom?

8. What’s his is yours… unfortunately

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Personally, my boyfriend owns six guitars. That’s right, SIX guitars. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t touched these guitars the whole time we’ve been together, 5/6 still have their own separate displays and are placed in his living space accordingly. I don’t know about any of my female readers, but my dream home does not consist of walls upon walls of different types of guitar. This works vice versa, of course, as I have a lot of crap too. My Cosmopolitan collection goes back about five years… does he want THOSE displayed in our living room? I’m guessing no.

9. Inevitable arguments

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As a couple. we’re pretty zen. This has a lot to do with the fact that he’s so laid-back that he’s practically horizontal, and refuses to take the bait when I’m on a hormonal rampage and trying to start an argument. What if this changes when we move in together? What if I’m having my time-of-the-month mini-rage and he actually. God forbid, talks back to me? I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it. I’ve become accustomed to a certain type of life, and that includes getting my own way most of the time.

10. The pressure is on

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We’ve been taught that life and relationships are supposed to go a certain way. You date, you move in, you get engaged, you get a dog (totally on-board with this, FYI), you get married, you have BABIES. Since you’re taking the second step, it’s natural to worry that everything else is going to start snowballing. I CAN’T GET MARRIED YET, I’M NOT A SIZE 12. I can get a dog though. Totally. Let’s do that first, before we buy furniture.

At the end of the day though, this is inevitably part of growing up. It’s something everyone will (hopefully) have to face at some point or another, and it usually turns out to be pretty great. Personally, I’m looking forward to having unlimited #BaeTime and making a house into our home.

What are your moving out fears? Do you have any advice for beating the fear? Let me know in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?

1. The over-sharer

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?

You have no problem with airing your dirty laundry on Facebook. Mailman pissed you off? Facebook it. Argument with a co-worker? Facebook it. People will go C R A Z Y talking behind your back about how you over-share, but refuse to comment on your posts to let you know, or simply delete you because, in actuality, they love the drama just as much as you do.

2. The Lurker

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?

You’re just on this site to be nosy, and that’s okay. A lot of people don’t realize that you’re even on Facebook, because you never appear on their feed. You probably even ‘appear offline’ a lot, because you’re just so damn elusive. Coincidentally, you know exactly what’s going on with everyone around you, because you’re an observer. Watching. Waiting…

3. The Proud Parent

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?

Do you feel the need to let all of your friends and co-workers know when your child has its first solid bowel movement? Uploading 45 consecutive pictures of your child in the same outfit, with the same facial expression, with the same background? Yeah, you’re the proud parent. You might have set your employment status to: Full-time mammy, or your middle name as ‘proud mammy’(or daddy, no sexism here). People probably say you’re annoying, but they’ll continue to like and comment on your stuff so, who’s the real loser here?

4. The Sports Nut

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?
Anyone without an interest in football has probably hidden you from their timeline a LONG time ago. You love nothing more than to share your teams post-match analysis, and genuinely believe that you could do a better job than the manager.
As long as you’ve got the right type of Facebook friends, you’re a great conversation starter. If you don’t, well, people’s eyes glaze over when seeing your posts.

5. The Cryptic

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?
Will cannot DEAL with your mysterious statuses

Constantly posting cryptic statuses, leaving your entire feed commenting ‘?’ or ‘expand on this!’? You’re a cryptic. You drive people insane, and people WILL be calling you an attention seeker behind your back (maybe to your face, depending on how brazen your friends are). You have them eating out of the palm of your hand. Don’t get too drunk with power.

6. The Philosopher

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?
You just can’t resist sharing the super-smart sounding article you just found on the ins and outs of (x-issue), with a four-paragraph caption of your opinion on the matter. People try to comment, offering their view, and you paragraph them to death until they feel like they’re stupid and fighting a losing battle. You probably end these paragraphs with a rhetorical question. Do you know what I mean?

7. The good time gal/guy

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?
Your feed is full of pictures of you and your friends clutching on to bottles of wine or cans for dear life. Maybe there’s one of you hugging the toilet. Maybe you’re giving the camera a thumbs up. People might judge you, but you’re pretty sure your life is better than theirs, so it aint no thang.

8. The Facebook Elite

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?
Also known as ‘Facebook Famous’. You can’t post that you’re going to Subway for a sarnie without getting spammed with a million ‘likes’ and comments from people wishing they had your life. This also gives way to a heard of basic bitches trying to tell you that you’re nothing special and that you have a big nose or something – #HatersGonHate. You sometimes feel compelled to wear sunglasses indoors, because you’re practically a Kardashian.

9. The Coupling

Which Facebook Stereotype Are You?
Your newsfeed looks like an online diary of the things you and bae get up to. You probably write on each others walls, despite being in the same room. Your profile and cover photo are both coupling selfies, and there isn’t a tagged picture on your whole profile without them on your arm. Your other half is just as bad. Everyone hates you. Sorry.

Which Facebook stereotype are you? Be loud, be proud, and tell me in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead