10 Timeless PlayStation Games

Yesterday PlayStation celebrated its 20th birthday. That’s right, the years have sped on by and we haven’t even realised that our precious console is old enough to drink, have sex and vote.

Aside from maybe GameCube, PlayStation is the one childhood memory we all share and look back on with great fondness… probably because we’re remembering a time you could just BUY a game and play it without having to download for 87 hours or buy extensions to make it work (I’m looking at you, GTA 5). Yes, it was a simpler time.

But what PlayStation games will always live on in our hearts? Let’s take a look back at the most memorable PS1 games and how they inspired a generation, probably.

1. Tomb Raider
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Is this a Minecraft hack?

Are you looking for pointy boobs and the ability to piss about for hours doing backflips and locking butlers in the fridge? You needn’t look further than the original Tomb Raider. Tomb Raider was not only a great game, but it was important too. Lara Croft was one of the first female protagonists to make their mark on the gaming world, and although they stuck her in mini-shorts that she could floss with and a tank top, her high-class British bad-assery overshadowed that and made her inspiration for girl-gamers everywhere. The latest instalment, Rise Of The Tomb Raider will be released for Xbox November this year, with it following for Ps4 in late 2016. The ONE time I’ve been grateful to own an Xbox.

2. Crash Bandicoot
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We get it, you lift. Put a shirt on.

OOGA BOOGA!
Does anyone even remember the backstory to Crash? Fox-man hybrid wants to protect the planet(?) from Cortex and his swollen skull, with help from his weirdly hot fox-sister (sorry) and her cute as hell baby tiger? I mean, is he even a fox? He could be a red dog… Anyway, Crash was endless hours of box-smashing, spinning fun that drove you CRAZY. Remember the various ‘Bosses’? You knew you’d made it when you beat one of those ugly bas*ards. Bet you even bragged about it at playtime the next day didn’t you? Show off.

3. Spyro The Dragon
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So. Much. Neon.

Dragons and fire and gnorcs, oh my! Spyro was a purple lil’ sassypants with a dragonfly sidekick who found himself having to save his dragon brethren, simply because he was smaller and could therefore dodge attacks. Great message to all of those kids who were bullied for their shortness, though. This game was full of random sh*t, end of. It still entertained us for hours on end though, and that purple guy will always have a place in our hearts. There’s a joke about heartburn there but I can’t find it. Because, fire.

4. Tekken 3
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Look at left-guy’s pants. He flamin’

Ah, mindless violence. Tekken 3 holds the 2nd top spot for BEST PLAYSTATION GAME EVURR according to Metacritic, and it’s not hard to see why – the game had a total cult following. Whether you were a hardcore gamer or a newbie, this was all about BUTTON SMASHING and TAKING YOUR ANGER OUT ON A CONTROLLER THAT YOUR MUM WOULD GROUND YOU FOR LATER. RAHHHHH.

5. Silent Hill
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Ok, full disclosure here. I was WAY too young to be playing Silent Hill. It gave me horrific nightmares that I couldn’t even cry to my parents about for fears that they’d (quite rightly) take the game away. The thing that made Silent Hill so much more terrifying were the crap graphics, which made already horrific creatures unrecognisable, and in turn, scarier. Remember that thing that looked like a walking vagina? Another thing worth mentioning about SH is the multiple choice endings, one of the first of its kind that affected gameplay.

6. Tetris
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Good ol’ stacking fun
 

Is there anything more compelling than the simplest yet most infuriating game known to man? As games go, Tetris is still totally thriving now. Maybe we miss the simpler times of gameplay and yearn for blocks that fit cosily next to eachother. Maybe we’ll just never be over that satisfying feeling in your belly when you clear five lines in a row. Henggggg.

7. Tony Hawk Pro Skater
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He was a skater boy, she said see you later, boy.

Remember when skateboarding was cool, and NOT something little tyrants did to piss you off in shopping centres? Although, Tony Hawk is STILL undeniably cool at the age of 47 (did you see the video of him and his daughter?). Pro Skater made every young boy want to become a whizz on a skateboard, and Avril Lavigne bringing out Skater Boi around the same time made all the girls want to fall in love with one. I wish they’d have designed him with a helmet though. Doesn’t set a very good impression.

8. Crash Team Racing
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Round and around and around and around we go.

Ok, so Crash has already earned his place in the list, but CTR was on a whole level all together. Different from the platform games, you could choose your fave character to race with. Again, the Crash-heads are playing fast and loose with the term ‘plot’: an evil alien claims to be the fastest racer in the galaxy, and Crash and his team of rag-tag pals have to prove him wrong. But it’s not like we’re here for the plot, is it? We’re here to smash wooden boxes and stott apples off our opponents head!

9. Grand Theft Auto
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Looks like something went horribly wrong with Habbo Hotel

Despite being the first of its kind, GTA is probably the least-known title of the series. Surprisingly, the game has over 200 missions, which are played out in various vehicles with a birds-eye view, but they were all rather ‘samey’ after a while. However, we can’t hate it because without the original, we wouldn’t have its successors that we love so much.

10. Fifa
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I wasn’t going to include FIFA in my Top Ten, but I can’t let my aversion to anything football related cloud my judgement. I happen to know that a good 90% of men in my life have thoroughly enjoyed the FIFA journey, and to my dismay still play it now when WE HAVE THINGS TO DO ANDREW.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to way overpay for these games and break out the Ps2.

Did I miss your favourite game off the list? Which one would you bump? Let me know in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead!

#THEPOWEROFMAKEUP: A Trend I Can Get On Board With

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Remember the #NoMakeupSelfie? The trend swept the UK last March, but I never really ‘got it’. Much like the ‘stick a bottle of coke between your boobs’ saga, which was meant to raise money for breast cancer, I just didn’t see how it was contributing to finding a cure. Not wearing any makeup had absolutely nothing to do with empathizing with people who had cancer, and the whole ‘coke bottle’ thing seemed to be mocking for the women that HAD suffered from breast cancer, and lost their own breasts because of it.

When #ThePowerOfMakeup started cropping up on my timeline, I automatically rolled my eyes and scrolled on, already convinced that it was another way for women to be vain in the name of charity. Then it kept popping up again and again, and I begrudgingly clicked on an article. It turned out to be something that really resonated with me.

The trend initially kicked off when YouTuber/beauty Vlogger NikkieTutorials posted a video with a face half-full of makeup, and the other half squeaky clean. This wasn’t to promote how ace she was at doing makeup (though she totally is!), but to draw attention to the stigma of make-up shaming.

Loads of women everywhere are made to feel like less of a feminist every day simply because of their love of makeup, and we’re taking a stand. In her video, Nikki says: “I’ve been noticing a lot lately that girls have been almost ashamed to say they love makeup, because nowadays when you say you love makeup, you either do it because you want to look good for boys, you do it because you’re insecure, or you do it because you don’t love yourself . . . I feel like in a way lately it’s almost a crime to love doing your makeup.”

So why does being a feminist have to mean that you play down your femininity?

Is feminism not the notion that women should be able to do what they want (to an extent, don’t start), whether that’s burning their bras and buying a wardrobe full of slacks to using a push-up bra and all the makeup Superdrug has to offer? Why does embracing the fact that you’re a woman and want to accentuate this make you the sole cause of feminism taking a great big step back?

If you genuinely think that woman only wear makeup to draw attention from men, then you’re extremely narrow minded. I’ve got a feeling that if you asked 100 women who they wear makeup for, 98 of them would reply “myself”. Although there’s OBV nothing wrong with loving the bare-skin look, it’s also totally okay to only feel yourself when you’re armed with your fave primer, foundation and NARS pallet.

For instance, I’m not great at the whole makeup thing (confession time: most of my makeup is from Avon!) but I very rarely leave the house without drawing my eyebrows on. Do I realise that it can make me look like a clown? Sure. Is that going to make me stop doing it? HEeEEeEeElll to the naw! Because of my #AlopeciaProbz, I don’t have a natural eyebrow, and I’m insecure about it. Sue me, bitch.

So ladies, whether you’re spending half of your income on the latest highlighter or you only need a scrub of Neutrogena to make you feel human, don’t let anyone stop you from doing your thang.

I want to fill this post with all of your beautiful faces, so tweet me with your #ThePowerOfMakeup selfies with a line about what makeup means to you, at @dimmickhead!

Reasons This Bruce Jenner Situation Is Disgusting

In an exclusive interview with Diane Sawyer yesterday, Bruce Jenner, former athlete and a star of KUTWTK, came out as transgender. According to Bruce, he’s known something wasn’t right with him since he was very young, and has lived with this secret for most of his life.

As a big fan of the Kardashian Klan (sorrynotsorry), I know the public perception of Bruce pretty well. There was always something just a little bit not right with him, and he seemed to just be going through the motions in life – looking back I suppose that he just never came across as ‘happy’ to me. I guess now we know why.

This news hasn’t exactly came out of nowhere. For a good few months now, celebrity gossip magazines have been widely reporting it; regardless of the fact neither Bruce nor his friends and family have addressed the issue. Whenever I heard about it, I’ll admit that I felt a little bit sick.

Now, before you all jump down my throat, let me explain.
In less than a three month’s time, I will be a qualified journalist. I’ve known that this is what I’ve wanted to do since I was five years old, and was excited at the opportunity to learn more about the inner-workings of my future profession. During my studies, I had a module called Media Law. From day one, it was drilled into us that knowing your media law was the be-all and end-all of being a successful journalist, and we must know it back to front if we were to go into the business. Without knowing about media law, you’d be constantly on your toes, wondering what you can and can’t say in print, just waiting for the day when the PCC would come down on your arse and you’d be the laughing stock of the news room forever more.

I took media law pretty seriously. It was bloody hard to pass as a module, but I somehow managed and promised myself that I’d always keep up with the changes in the laws, to make sure that I’d be a GOOD journalist.

That’s why I was so sickened by this Bruce Jenner situation. Months ago now, the rumours started. But this wasn’t your average social media gossip, where a poorly framed picture made Bruce look more feminine or he was seen growing his hair out more than usual, and people jumped to conclusions. No, this came from the news networks.

I first came across it when In Touch Weekly produced this horrific cover:

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I was naive enough to think, for at least a few minutes, that this must be true. Why wouldn’t it be? Surely there is no possible way a magazine could print that – front page no less – without it being true? If it wasn’t true, Bruce could sue them for all they’re worth! Their readers would never trust them again! They’d have to close their doors and cease printing!
I’ve had it drilled into me for three years that you can’t just print what you want to print. There are rules, there is defamation of character, there are hefty fines and, more importantly, there are people looking up to you for entertaining, TRUE stories. Without the truth, a journalist’s job can never be done.
After getting more caught-up with the situation, I felt a horrible sense of helplessness. How are they getting away with this? This just isn’t right.

I’m from the UK, and though I know for a fact that some of the US press has been completely horrifying towards this whole situation, I’ll be talking mainly about the UK coverage for now.

Let’s talk about Heat Magazine, who I’ve come to absolutely despise over these past few months, and all because of Bruce.
The interview (the FIRST time EVER Bruce has openly addressed the rumours) took place yesterday. Search Bruce Jenner in the search-box of Heat’s website and there’s a good two pages of coverage that’s occurred since the interview. However, go back even further and you’ll find an array of stories about Bruce being transgender, headlines that read either absolute lies or extremely misleading information, like here, here and here dating back weeks before the interview. There are many other examples of UK coverage, but Heat has been the one that’s really grinded my gears through this. And even after posting all these general lies and/or bending of the truth, they’ve had the cheek to cover the interview like they’re a respectable news network, offering this breaking news to their adoring public? Well I call bullshit.

Although I’m not trying to claim by any stretch that gossip magazines are considered trustworthy, they are above all news networks. A journalist’s primary job is to get reliable information out to its readers. It’s why we’re here, it’s why we’re trained (mostly) and it’s why there are laws in place to keep us in check. It doesn’t make sense to me that magazines are printing this, and not having any consequences come their way. What they’re doing is undoubtedly against the law. Whether the rumors about Bruce being transgender ended up being true or not, these publications should be ashamed of themselves for covering it the way that they did.

More than that though, what I can only label as bullying is a massive step back for the transgender community. If printing a picture of Jenner superimposed onto a woman’s body with makeup is the media’s way of addressing these rumors, is it any wonder that many trans people are so terrified to come out?

If something people look to for news can so blatantly and publicly ridicule Bruce Jenner, it sends the message to everyone that transgender people are something to be mocked, something that’s not really a big deal and something we can all have a nice laugh about it.

In reality, this is people’s lives. Anyone with the faintest dash of empathy can relate to the pain and feelings of anguish that comes with denying what you are, and most of the press has completely hindered rather than helped this situation, and it really does make me sick. I’m not sure that I want to go into an industry that’s filled with scumbags like them.

I’m genuinely so happy for Bruce, and really do hope that coming out will bring him the freedom that he’s denied himself for most of his life. I also hope that this encourages other people living with these issues to tell their story. I promise you that we aren’t all like them.

Sarky comments for the VMAs 2013

Gaga got boo’d, Kanye sported his uber-classy tatt and for a second, I really thought Miley was naked. Once again, never a dull moment at the VMA’s.
Although I much prefer disecting the red carpet at events like the Baftas and Grammys, I’d never pass up an opportunity to pass judgement on people who can afford the best clothes in the world and still show up in… well… these.

Hug me Ellie! Actually, on second thought..

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Ellie Goulding’s dress made me shield my eyes. Girl looks like she could put somebody’s eye out.
(Sidenote: she was seen snuggling with Ed Sheeran during the performances. Jammy biach)

Feather is murder

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Rita Ora looked gorgeous as always, it’s just such a shame she had to murder so many peacocks to do so. Shake ya tail feather.

Miley mouses

MILEY MOUSE

I can’t even comment on this. I feel like most celebrities nowadays are going for the shock factor rather than even attempting to look nice. Miley, you look a dick.

Outta my grill

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It’s not classy, it’s not stylish, and from afar it makes you look like you have a really bad plaque problem. Stop it, stop it now.

Ding dong, binman calling

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This year, Gaga sported various bin bags. There’s nothing else I can say (eh eh, eh eh).

Cutie patootie

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Ariana looked cute as a button in this floral dress, but this is the VMA’s, not a walk in the park.

Until next time!