We Need To Talk About The Gilmore Girls Revival

If you’re out on the road, feeling lonely and so cold,
All you have to do is call my name and I’ll be there on the next train.
Where you lead, I will follow anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you I will follow, when you lead”

Be STILL my beating heart, it’s back.

Gilmore Girls has always had a really special place in my heart. It’s something that I used to watch with my aunt at a young age and, since the beauty of Netflix has graced my life, I’ve watched on and off ever since. I’d recently finished a particularly long binge when I heard stirrings of a revival, but I was skeptical.

Revivals, much like second novels, are never as good as the first. This is just a fact of life. As I say, Gilmore Girls gets me right here *points at heart*, and if anybody DARED try to ruin it I’d have their guts for garters.

Gilmore Girls: A Day In The Life premiered on Netflix on Friday and fans consumed it in their troves. I practically had to go on social media lock-down for 24 hours as I didn’t have access to it until Sunday, but you better believe I ate that sh*t up at my earliest convenience.

A lot’s went on since then. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve gasped at my screen in sheer HORROR, and I’ve come out of the other end not really knowing how to feel. We need to talk about it.

Obviously this blog post contains ALL OF THE SPOILERS so please only read ahead if you’ve completed AYITL. If not, go away, watch ’em all, come back and TALK TO ME ABOUT IT!

 

RORY GILMORE 

I just got hit by a deer” 

Rory Gilmore was my idol.
She was studious, street-smart, funny and seemed to have every half decent boy in town after her (without even having to ‘put out’). Sure, she got to be a bit of a whiny, overachieving pain in the arse near the end but, you know, she had her redeeming features. Seeing Rory as the high-flying, power-hungry journalist brought me so much joy in the opening scene.

Seeing the prodigal daughter return to Stars Hollow was exhilarating and I really felt like this whole revival was going to be a great thing. Then the cracks started appearing.

Paul. Poor, quaint Paul that seemed to have no major flaws that made him completely forgettable, and obviously doted on Rory and her family. It was a really shitty thing that Rory kept forgetting that she had a boyfriend, never mind forgetting to end things with him. I get that this was meant to be a funny skit but it seemed a little bit mean and woke me up to who this older Rory was and how she treat people.

Which of course leads me to my next point – Logan Fucking Huntzberger. Yes, that prick. It’s great to see he hasn’t matured or altered his gaze on women AT ALL since the last time we seen him fuck-boying about. This is NOT a likeable storyline. It’s not ‘aww Rory’s back with her one true love, who cares if some poor girl we never meet is being bitch slapped my the lack of girl code and simultaneously having her heart ripped to pieces by someone she thought wanted to marry her, because it’s our Rory and she’s the only one that deserves happiness’.

NO, okay? Just no.

Rory’s relationships however, were the only things that really turned me against her during this. As someone growing up with very similar aspirations to Rory (okay, I’m more of a Cosmo girl that The New Yorker but still), I totally felt and was able to relate to the struggle. Sure, you think after 20odd years in the biz she might have built up SOME contacts to prevent her work drying up and being homeless but nobody’s perfect.

On another note, I personally thought teaching would have been a good career detour for Rory, since she seemed so unconnected to journalism compared to her younger self, but who am I to judge?

Also, Alexis Bedel has not aged at all over the years. What’s with that?

LORELAI GILMORE 

“Oy with the poodles already” 



Lorelai’s life seems to have been ticking along just fine while we’ve been gone. She’s still loving her quirky life in Stars Hollow, still with Luke and still building her own hotel empire. However, she doesn’t seem to have progressed much in the last nine years. No more children, no marriage and no expansions to The Dragonfly.

Of course, this is okay. Not every woman is unfulfilled unless they’re married and sharing a brood of screaming brats darling children, but we know from the past that Lorelai DOES want these things – and cracks start to appear pretty quickly.

She still has that Special Snowflake thing going on for her, which depending on your mood is either endearing or annoying. In AYITL, it was a bit of both.

When you’re in a serious long-term relationship, it’s neither the fair nor adult thing to do to just run away from your problems to ‘discover yourself’. You’re nearly 50 L, talk it out.

However all is right in the world once again as they both work it out and are lawfully wed. True love conquers and all that jazz ❤️.

It’s interesting to see which aspects of Loreli and Rory’s relationship have changed or stayed the same over the years. They’re certainly still the best of friends but, with Rory being a bonifide adult now, they’re on more equal footing.

When Rory approaches Lorelai about her /Jess’ book idea, you get that Rory’s finally got her spark back and is excited about it, but you also get that this is the first thing that Lorelai is denying her daughter, and she’s given up everything to provide and be a great mum to her. It was hard to decide whose side I was on, but I’ll admit I would buy the shit out of that book.


EMILY GILMORE


“I was going to wait until you called me but my life isn’t as long as yours” 

Ah Emily, still as sassy as ever.

AYITL for Emily is all about finding herself and learning how to live independently, and not as an add on of her husband *sob*. The shell of Emily has always been painted as a kind of rich-bitch with an underlying resentment for her daughter but, as any real fan will know, deep down is an intelligent, caring woman that wants nothing but the best for her family.

She’s no longer going through maids faster than clean underwear, but instead is sticking with her latest that doesn’t speak a lick of English and has taken on the role as host-slash-grandmother to her maid’s family. It’s weird and I loved it.

It’s so endearing to see her trying to pick herself up after Richard’s death and continuing to be the woman everybody expects her to be, but you really just want to give her a hug and tell her everything’s going to be okay.

Of course, her and Lorelai are still fighting like cat and dog but it wouldn’t be Gilmore Girls if they weren’t.

She really was the star if the show for me.
RICHARD GILMORE


“Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch” 

Oh, the pain.

Every time there was even a mention of Richard or a scene involving him I was welling up beyond control. He was never a favorite of mine during the original series, but there was no denying that he was a great, hardworking man and a doting father and grandad. His death hit all fans hard, and it was really a struggle to adjust to a GG world without Richard Gilmore.
SOOKIE ST.JAMES


“I’m so hot I may hit on myself tonight” 

I really doubted whether Melissa McCarthy would want to come back for the revival but I’m so glad she did, even if it wasn’t for very long.

Sookie was such a huge character in the original series, so it was a blow to hear she’d left The Dragonfly to pursue other things but, that’s life. You could always kind of tell Lorelai was more into the whole hotel thing than she was.

She’s still married, still sprouting out kids, still our over-excitable Sookie. I love her.


MICHELE GERRARD


Producers have finally confirmed what we’ve known since season one, Michele is gay. Not only this, he’s married and ADOPTING A CHILD!!!

Still as bitchy and quick witted as ever, he damn near breaks our hearts when he reveals he’s been looking for concierge jobs elsewhere.

It’s all left a bit up in the air with Michele, you don’t find out whether him and husband are successful in their plans to adopt or whether he actually leaves. Maybe in the revival’s revival, am I right?

 

LANE KIM


“Eternal damnation is what I’m risking for my rock and roll” 

I don’t know why everyone was so disappointed with the way Lane’s story ended in season seven. It’s okay to chose domestic bliss over being a rocker if it makes you happy, which in her case it clearly does. She’s still doing her thing with Hep Alien and that’s so cool. She also seems like the coolest mum ever.

Oh and how adorable is her dad? Can’t you just imagine who wears the pants in his and Mrs Kim’s relationship?
PARIS GELLER


“Have I ever been mistaken for a patient person?”

We always knew Paris would be destined for great things. Well, when we say great things we mean she was destined to run her own empire and tear people down with so much as a glance.

Leading Lady in the world of surrogacy, Paris seems to have it all figured out. However everything’s not how it seems, her and Doyle are going through a divorce and her nanny seems to have more of a connection with her children than she does.

As with Michele, everything was left a bit open-ended for Paris, and I was disappointed to see how she went to pieces after visiting Chilton. Still losing her shit over seeing Tristan and allowing her nemesis Francie to completely transport her back to her insecure childhood self. Paris, you have done so much. Own it.
CHRISTOPHER HAYDEN


“One bag of coffee per cup of water, right?”

Still a prick, next please.

KIRK GLEASON


“One day it occured to me… cows never wrinkle”

Of course Kirk and Lulu adopted a pig named Petal. What else should I have expected?

He’s also a business tycoon, creating this totally new idea called Uber. Oh, sorry, I mean Ooober. It seems that, emotionally anyway, Kirk hasn’t changed at all but we love him for it.

His screening of his latest short film is everything I’ve ever wanted in life, and his comic-releif provided a nice distraction for when things were getting tough around Stars Hollow.

Sadly, he seems to have distanced himself from Taylor as of late.

TAYLOR DOOSE


“There is no use for a lava lamp unless you’re on drugs”

Still somewhat of a town dictator, Taylor’s latest improvement of Stars hollow involves replacing the piping with sewage systems. Really hard hitting stuff, Tay Tay.

I was at least hoping he’d have found someone to take his mind of his obsessive compulsive behavior, maybe in he shape of a woman, but hey ho, you can’t win em all.
JESS MARIANO

“Think of how dull your life would be without me”

Let me get one thing straight, I’ve waited nine years to see Jess back in action. What amounts to about four minutes of screen time does NOT satisfy my desires, okay Palladino?

He seems to have ironed out his attitude problem over the years, but he’s quite obviously still hung up on Rory which is a little bit sad considering it’s obvious she hasn’t spent this whole time moping about him. Get over it Jess, plenty more fish in the sea. Like myself, to use an example. 

He’s getting along with Luke a lot better lately, and it’s great to see them getting together as friends rather than two people who are being forced to spend time together because it’s the right thing to do.

Also, I call myself a fan but I had no idea Milo and Alexis dated IRL until a few days ago. That completely blows my mind.

DEAN FORESTER


“We could go to a bookstore. I’ll watch you browse for six or seven hours”

I found Dean quite the wet flannel after series one (and seen him as a massive cheating nob-end from season four) but I loved present day Dean.

He really seems to have his act together, has many children causing havoc and seems to be loving every second for it. Good for him.

Also he doesn’t take one look at his childhood sweetheart and decide that he’s still madly in love with her -cough Jess-.

 

So, that’s all of my feelings from the Gilmore Girls revival. What did you think? And what about those four last words? Work of genius or lazy, open-ended writing? Tell me your thoughts in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead!

  REVIEW: Harry Potter & The Cursed Child

*Spoilers will be reserved for the end of this blog post, I’m not cruel*

 

I’m baaaaaaaack. 

I know, I know, I’m a shithouse. I made this big thing about being back to blogging and it was a lie and I’m the worst.

To be honest I’ve been feeling pretty uninspired lately, and I kept putting off my next post until there was something that really got me excited (or angry). This morning I finished the latest installment of the HP saga and ThE fEeLiNg hit. I needed to blog.

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Now, anyone that knows me knows that my Harry Potter obsession borders on scary. If it’s crested, I have it. I’ve got wands, I’ve got pyjamas (x42), I’ve got the original books which are tattered and generally eroding, hallows jewellery, a Hedwig that lives on my bed, and the posters. Basically, I’m a big fan.

When I first read Harry Potter it just struck a chord with me. I’ve revisited the story every other year with the books, and rarely go a fortnight without watching one of the movies (Unpopular opinion, Goblet Of Fire is King). Id easily go as far to say it’s the best modern literature there is, and if you oppose this opinion you’re simply wrong.

So naturally when it was announced that a new book/screen play was to be released FEATURING THE ORIGIONAL CAST I felt like I’d been hit by a bus. But like, in a good way.

I won’t lie, I had my misgivings. Why tamper with perfection? Leave the saga as it is, immense and untouched. IMO, it was wrapped up ideally, everyone really did live happily ever after. I just genuinely believed that it was going to be unnecessary.

I was right.

By the time I’d got through Act One I already knew I was not going to enjoy this. It didn’t fit right – the characters didn’t speak like themselves, their mannerism’s were off and I just didn’t BUY the plot.

Of course there’s very limited information available to people that haven’t read/seen it of what the plot IS, so for the sake of the spoiler-free section of this blog,  it involves a lot of time-travel, family feuding and friendship woes.

Starring in this charade is young-ish Albus Severus Potter, a bit of an outcast that’s sick of having to live up with his family name. Alongside his best friend (who for now shall remain nameless), he sets out to right some wrongs and create his own legacy with horrible repercussions.

His dad, formerly The Boy Who Lived, is working himself to the bone as Head Of Magical Law Enforcement at the ministry.

I felt like the great Harry Potter having a normal (normal for a wizard, anyway) occupation lacked the magic that I’d come to expect from JK. At the end of the books, the future was out there for my long-time hero. He could be the next Dumbledore, the Minister For Magic, or he could like, get a government grant or something and spend the rest of his life kicking dark magics’ arse. But no, he’s an over-worked Ministry employee. It’s not even a particularly cool department. Magical Law Enforcement? THE GREAT HARRY POTTER? THE CHOSEN ONE? Pur-lease.

For me, the characters felt like ghosts of their former selves, and the jokes and reminiscence felt entirely forced.

I won’t say it wasn’t exciting to see what the old gang was up to; I’ve spent hours pondering what the personalities of their children and what they’re all up to ‘these days’, but I was disappointed at the lack of references to everyone else. How’s Kreacher’s attitude lately? Did Hermoine ever recover her mum and dad’s memory? How is George coping?????? I’ll never know, it seems.

WARNING – THE SPOILERS START HERE. DO NOT READ ON UNLESS YOU HAVE READ THE BOOK OR SEEN THE PLAY.

So, let’s talk about why we’re really here.

What the fuck was that about? No, seriously, whose idea was it? I need a word with them.

I was almost sure I’d mis-read. JKR wouldn’t allow such a predictable and sloppy plotline to tarnish her legacy.

Voldemort has a child with Bellatrix Lestrange? Are you kidding? In what world, even a world where wooden sticks can make things levitate and the love of your mother can shield you inadvertently from murder, can this happen?

I’ll get the practicalities out of the way first.

Voldy doesn’t have a nose, OR a soul. Okay? If he doesn’t have either of those, can someone explain the likelihood that he’d have SEMEN or a PENIS? This is an actual request, I need to understand the physicality of it.

I mean, some will argue that it wasn’t done via a physical act and rather by magic, but what is this? The bible? Is Delphi Riddle the second coming? No, she’s not.

On top of this, I couldn’t cope with the portrayal of Snape or Dumbledore (dude, stop crying). I get that it’s harder to portray a personality through speech alone and that it’s more down to the actor, but these characters that we’ve known for so long and grown to love… they just wouldn’t talk like that.

However, since I’m such a ‘glass half-full’ type of gal, I’ll tell you what I did enjoy about the book.

Scorpious Malfoy. What a little honey. I knew immediately that I loved him and wanted to cradle and protect him forever (possibly as a step-mother since Draco always did give me *the flutter*). He was funny, charming and adorably portrayed, even on paper. 10/10 for that blond-haired little firecracker.

 

I know some of you will disagree with me, and that’s okay. The beauty of literature is that it can be interpenetrated and enjoyed differently from each person, and that’s a fantastic thing.

This is just one fan’s take on it, and it wasn’t positive. It felt like fan-fiction. I can’t actually imagine this storyline being pitched to Rowling and her saying “Yes, this sounds great. Let’s do it”. She created a whole entire world of magic and wonder and it was AMAZING. To this day I still live and breathe Harry Potter and, to be honest, I feel let down that this is what we’ve been waiting for. There it is. I’m just a girl, standing in-front of her audience, asking them to understand her </3.

Will I go and see the play? Of course I will, because I’m a huge hypocrite and live and breathe the wizarding world of Harry Potter. I pledge my allegiance to Dumbledore’s Army. Potter ’til I die.

 

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I’d be super interested to know how you found The Cursed Child, please let me know in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead!

 

REVIEW: The Venus Trap By Louise Voss

I swear I’ve been reading thrillers non-stop for a full year now. My reading habits tend to change like the weather – when it’s cold outside, I love nothing more than snuggling (like, with myself) down with a good thriller and a cuppa. When it’s hot, you’ll catch me sunning it in the garden with some chick-lit. Lately though, my whole system is out of whack. It’s like I’ve fell down the thriller rabbit-hole and I can’t get out. It’s not exactly hell though, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being trapped in my own little world of mystery and murder.

The problem is, literature is my version of crack. It’s not something I can just stop, cold turkey. I knew I’d have to wean myself off it, differentiate between dark and light. “Just one more” I tell myself, pressing ‘download’ on The Venus Trap by Louise Voss. “One more, and I’ll move on”.

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After the breakdown of her marriage, Jo’s ready to dive back in to the metaphorical cesspool of dating and find the passion that her life’s been missing. She tries her hand at internet dating (and has her share of horror stories), but nothing could have prepared her for her present: waking up chained to her own bed.

But it’s not a stranger that’s holding Jo captive, it’s an old school friend with secrets that she never could have predicted.

I really reveled in the fact that this was a fully first-person novel. I know it’s often 100% necessary to include the detective in a thriller, but it can sometimes feel a bit tedious switching back and forth to the victim, the victims family, the D.I., the killer and so on. The Venus Trap focuses solely on Jo’s version of events.

This isn’t your average ‘girl meets weirdo on a dating site’ thriller, and that’s what makes it so chilling – it makes you realise that the wackos don’t always have to be strangers.

Thrillers can tend to gloss over the flaws of a victim, painting them in the light that they were the innocent party that never so much as said ‘boo’ to a goose. Voss refuses to do this; she wants the reader to know that Jo wasn’t a saint. She was a human who’d made mistakes and was sometimes a little bit selfish. She wasn’t the poster girl for Miss Perfect, just like none of us are. It gives the story a much more gritty and realistic feel, as even though Jo talks you through her downfalls and shortcomings, you still LIKE her and hope that she makes it out.

The main problem with this though is that I’m back to square one. How am I supposed to make the switch to happy, sunny chick-lit when there are so many unread novels by Voss? I better get cracking…

MY MONTH IN BOOKS: September 2015

When the weather’s getting colder (and wetter), I transition from my happy rom-coms to my dark thrillers. There’s something about the idea of being nestled under my sheets while the rain beats off the window, with nothing but a cup of tea and a good book for company. In reality though, it’s more sitting on a sweaty, damp bus surrounded by rowdy school kids and a million sounds I’m trying to block out to get properly engrossed in my latest literary adventure.

On a good week, I can go through about three books. I’m both thrilled and ashamed to say I’ve experienced four good weeks in a row this month. It’s been turbulent – I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve abandoned books halfway through because they’ve bored me half to death, but in the end I’ve came out with a good few solid recommendations that I’d love to share with you.

The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins

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Breaking news, small-time blogger recommends Girl On The Train. It’s hardly the most original plug, as it’s one of those books you just can’t seem to escape at the moment. It’s for good reason, though. Released in January this year, the story follows Rachel Watson, a borderline alcoholic coming to terms with the breakdown of her long-term relationship and the speedy moving on of her ex. Rachel finds solace in people-watching, but ends up getting more involved than she bargained for when her interest in piqued by a couple that she sees every day on her commute. The thing that got me about this book is that I’ve never been so involved in a story where I literally don’t like ANYONE. I get that Rachel’s supposed to be our heroine, but as the book went on I found myself with a strong dislike towards her, as well as everyone else she came into contact with. This thriller is fresh, unpredictable and at some times, maddening.

Before I Go To Sleep by SJ Watson

BeforeIGoToSleep

After TGOTT I was hungry for something like it. Like any normal, fun-loving, party-going young woman, I’m a member of a book club, and turned to them for help when my ideas ran dry. I was told that Before I Go To Sleep had a similar vibe, so I got to downloading and jumped straight in. After a hit-and-run almost claimed her life, Christine Lucas now wakes up every day with no idea where she is, or who she is. Now living with her husband, Ben, Christine takes the news every day and tries to get on with her life as best she can, but something feels off. She’s unsure whether it’s just the way her broken mind’s working, or if it’s something much more sinister. Although it does have the same feel, this story’s much more concentrated on the main character, making it feel a bit more personal. This was Watson’s debut novel, and I can’t wait to see what she’s got in store for us next.

The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult

storyteller

Despite my book-hoarding tendencies and Picoults obvious cult-following, I’ve never took the opportunity to read one of her books before. It’s not exactly her most recent novel, published in 2013, but I decided to try The Storyteller because it sounded different from the other thrillers I’d been bingeing on. Sage is a loner, working as a baker only at night as to avoid prying eyes focusing on her facial deformity. That is, until she befriends an old man and the two become a very unlikely coupling. But the old man wants more than friendship – he wants Sage to help end his life, as he’s plagued by the guilt of his past as a Nazi SS guard. This book truly moved me in a way none other has in a long time. Never reading much into the holocaust before, I found myself consumed by this book, jumping between wonderment and disgust at its events. It’s a great insight from both a Jewish and German point of view, and although it’s a huge cliché, there were times when I honestly felt myself inside the story; smelling Sages bread, feeling the cold of the filthy camps, as well as being part of the side-story, a fairy-tale written by Sage’s grandmother. When a book can make me feel like this one has, I’ll recommended it to anyone that’ll listen.

Forward Slash by Mark Edwards & Louise Voss

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I’ve made it my business to read everything ever written by Edwards by the end of the year (it’s going well). I especially love when he co-writes with Voss because, and don’t judge me, the story’s always that little bit more gory. When Amy receives an email from her older sister Becky, informing her that she’s decided to move away, Amy wrestles with feelings of acceptance and the hint that something’s just not right. Determined to find more information, she teams up with Becky’s neighbour, Gary. Unbeknown to her though, a sadistic killer’s watching, and going to extremes to make sure nobody messes up his plan. It’s not like we need another thriller to warn us off the frights of using social media, they’re a dime a dozen. Forward Slash takes a spin on the message though, less about the weirdo you deigned to grab a cup of coffee with and now won’t leave you alone, this is more terrifying all together.

Stranger Child by Rachel Abbott

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Is there anything creepier than a thriller based on a child? I’m such a sucker for this type of story, and Stranger Child was no exception. I actually downloaded this on a whim, remembering how much I loved Abbott’s earlier novel Only The Innocent (another one of The Greats). When Emma met her husband David, he was wallowing in the backlash of a horrific accident that killed his wife and left his daughter, Tasha, missing. Six years later, Emma and David are playing at matrimonial bliss, with a young son together. Suddenly their world is turned upside down when David’s daughter returns out of nowhere. Emma knows something horrible must have happened to Tasha, but the unravelling brings forward secrets she never could have predicted. My first adventure with Abbott was filled with that sort of morbid fascination that you can’t look away from, and S/C was no different. With just breadcrumbs for clues throughout, you’ll be guessing the outcome until the very last second – and you’ll still be wrong!

The Blue by Lucy Clarke

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If Cosmopolitan Magazine tells me to do something, I’m probably going to do it. The Blue was in their review section (or rather, 50odd words about the plot) and I was just finishing up my latest rom-com and wanted something chilling. Let’s get this out there; the sea creeps me out. There’s weird fish, darkness and probably more dead bodies than you can count (keep this blog in mind next time you’re at the beach. You’re welcome). So, a book set almost entirely at sea intrigued me. After some shock news at home, Lana and her best friend Kitty set off for adventure. They think they’ve hit the jackpot when they meet a group of young sailors, but what started as the trip of a lifetime is halted by a horrible accident. How far will they go to protect the life they’ve forged? Although there were bits I found myself glazing over (I really can’t speak boat, and don’t care for people who do), this book really pulled me in. I felt the isolation of being out at sea, but also the claustrophobia of always being around the crew. Clarke is a talented descriptor and does an excellent job of painting the beautiful scenery in your mind, too.

What have you been reading? Let me know in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead!

10 Timeless PlayStation Games

Yesterday PlayStation celebrated its 20th birthday. That’s right, the years have sped on by and we haven’t even realised that our precious console is old enough to drink, have sex and vote.

Aside from maybe GameCube, PlayStation is the one childhood memory we all share and look back on with great fondness… probably because we’re remembering a time you could just BUY a game and play it without having to download for 87 hours or buy extensions to make it work (I’m looking at you, GTA 5). Yes, it was a simpler time.

But what PlayStation games will always live on in our hearts? Let’s take a look back at the most memorable PS1 games and how they inspired a generation, probably.

1. Tomb Raider
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Is this a Minecraft hack?

Are you looking for pointy boobs and the ability to piss about for hours doing backflips and locking butlers in the fridge? You needn’t look further than the original Tomb Raider. Tomb Raider was not only a great game, but it was important too. Lara Croft was one of the first female protagonists to make their mark on the gaming world, and although they stuck her in mini-shorts that she could floss with and a tank top, her high-class British bad-assery overshadowed that and made her inspiration for girl-gamers everywhere. The latest instalment, Rise Of The Tomb Raider will be released for Xbox November this year, with it following for Ps4 in late 2016. The ONE time I’ve been grateful to own an Xbox.

2. Crash Bandicoot
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We get it, you lift. Put a shirt on.

OOGA BOOGA!
Does anyone even remember the backstory to Crash? Fox-man hybrid wants to protect the planet(?) from Cortex and his swollen skull, with help from his weirdly hot fox-sister (sorry) and her cute as hell baby tiger? I mean, is he even a fox? He could be a red dog… Anyway, Crash was endless hours of box-smashing, spinning fun that drove you CRAZY. Remember the various ‘Bosses’? You knew you’d made it when you beat one of those ugly bas*ards. Bet you even bragged about it at playtime the next day didn’t you? Show off.

3. Spyro The Dragon
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So. Much. Neon.

Dragons and fire and gnorcs, oh my! Spyro was a purple lil’ sassypants with a dragonfly sidekick who found himself having to save his dragon brethren, simply because he was smaller and could therefore dodge attacks. Great message to all of those kids who were bullied for their shortness, though. This game was full of random sh*t, end of. It still entertained us for hours on end though, and that purple guy will always have a place in our hearts. There’s a joke about heartburn there but I can’t find it. Because, fire.

4. Tekken 3
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Look at left-guy’s pants. He flamin’

Ah, mindless violence. Tekken 3 holds the 2nd top spot for BEST PLAYSTATION GAME EVURR according to Metacritic, and it’s not hard to see why – the game had a total cult following. Whether you were a hardcore gamer or a newbie, this was all about BUTTON SMASHING and TAKING YOUR ANGER OUT ON A CONTROLLER THAT YOUR MUM WOULD GROUND YOU FOR LATER. RAHHHHH.

5. Silent Hill
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nopenopenopenopenope

Ok, full disclosure here. I was WAY too young to be playing Silent Hill. It gave me horrific nightmares that I couldn’t even cry to my parents about for fears that they’d (quite rightly) take the game away. The thing that made Silent Hill so much more terrifying were the crap graphics, which made already horrific creatures unrecognisable, and in turn, scarier. Remember that thing that looked like a walking vagina? Another thing worth mentioning about SH is the multiple choice endings, one of the first of its kind that affected gameplay.

6. Tetris
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Good ol’ stacking fun
 

Is there anything more compelling than the simplest yet most infuriating game known to man? As games go, Tetris is still totally thriving now. Maybe we miss the simpler times of gameplay and yearn for blocks that fit cosily next to eachother. Maybe we’ll just never be over that satisfying feeling in your belly when you clear five lines in a row. Henggggg.

7. Tony Hawk Pro Skater
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He was a skater boy, she said see you later, boy.

Remember when skateboarding was cool, and NOT something little tyrants did to piss you off in shopping centres? Although, Tony Hawk is STILL undeniably cool at the age of 47 (did you see the video of him and his daughter?). Pro Skater made every young boy want to become a whizz on a skateboard, and Avril Lavigne bringing out Skater Boi around the same time made all the girls want to fall in love with one. I wish they’d have designed him with a helmet though. Doesn’t set a very good impression.

8. Crash Team Racing
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Round and around and around and around we go.

Ok, so Crash has already earned his place in the list, but CTR was on a whole level all together. Different from the platform games, you could choose your fave character to race with. Again, the Crash-heads are playing fast and loose with the term ‘plot’: an evil alien claims to be the fastest racer in the galaxy, and Crash and his team of rag-tag pals have to prove him wrong. But it’s not like we’re here for the plot, is it? We’re here to smash wooden boxes and stott apples off our opponents head!

9. Grand Theft Auto
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Looks like something went horribly wrong with Habbo Hotel

Despite being the first of its kind, GTA is probably the least-known title of the series. Surprisingly, the game has over 200 missions, which are played out in various vehicles with a birds-eye view, but they were all rather ‘samey’ after a while. However, we can’t hate it because without the original, we wouldn’t have its successors that we love so much.

10. Fifa
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I wasn’t going to include FIFA in my Top Ten, but I can’t let my aversion to anything football related cloud my judgement. I happen to know that a good 90% of men in my life have thoroughly enjoyed the FIFA journey, and to my dismay still play it now when WE HAVE THINGS TO DO ANDREW.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to way overpay for these games and break out the Ps2.

Did I miss your favourite game off the list? Which one would you bump? Let me know in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead!

What Should You Watch Next?

We’re all familiar with the feeling of finishing a great TV program on Netflix. The credits start rolling, and you think to yourself: “Well, that’s it. What the hell am I supposed to do with my life now?!”.

Thanks to the rise of instant streaming, it’s more easy than ever to binge-watch an entire series in one night, meaning that although you get the instant gratification of finding out ‘what’s next?’, you power through a great show without giving yourself time to take in and process what you’re watching.

So, what can you do about it? Not a damn thing. This is the world we live in now; a world of great TV at the push of a button, and it’s a great time to be alive. If you’ve found yourself at the end of your latest venture and you’re unsure of what to watch next, read on.

When you want… easy viewing

The Office (U.S)
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Obviously, anything staring Steve Carell is bound to be class A comedy, and The Office is no different. Set in an office (surprisingly), it works in a mockumentary format, following the daily grind of the workers. There’s romance, there’s fallout and… there’s Dwight Schrute.

Him & Her
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Following the lives of Steve and Becky, Him & Her is set solely in the young couples flat (bar one episode). They’re unbelievably lazy, messy and sarcastic so, y’know, it’s relatable *shrugs*. Although these two crazy kids provide enough entertainment, their regular visitors will have you in bits.

Pramface
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Once you get over the fact that this is about a barely legal tween getting his life absolutely f*cked over by an unplanned pregnancy, this is a really enjoyable, easy series. What with our heroes wacky life and our heroine’s strict family, being young parents has never been more confusing or hilarious.

When you want… something funny

Miranda
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I genuinely believe that Miranda Hart is one of the best comedians of our time, so when I heard that she was getting her own show, I was thrilled. Playing on Miranda’s characters general dopy-ness, the series follows her everyday life, with a focus on her friends and family too.

The Royle Family
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Whoever knew that watching people watch TV could be so entertaining?Unless you live under a rock, you’ll know about The Royle Family. However, the older you get, the better it gets. It’s really one of those shows that never gets old, and you love the cast as if they were your own, unbalanced family unit.

Little Britain
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Piss-taking at its finest, Little Britain is a throwback to back when comedy sketch shows were good. Matt Lucas and David Walliams are the ultimate comedy duo, and between laughing until you cry, you’ll be unsettled to know that you recognize some of these characters from your own life.

When you want… a walk down memory lane

Pokemon: Indigo League
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I want to watch the very best, like no series ever was. To watch them is my real test, to reminisce is my cause. Go back to the back to where it all began, starting with Ash Ketchum’s birthday when his Pokemon journey begins. Warning: doing so will likely result in you blowing the dust off your Game Boy and searching for the games on eBay.

SpongeBob Squarepants
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To be fair, with all the innuendos in this show, it’s hard to believe it’s even considered a kids show. Relive your Saturday mornings as a youngin’ as you rejoin the sea-life of Bikini Bottom for their aquatic adventures.

Dexter’s Laboratory
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Ah, Cartoon Network. The youth of today will never understand the joy of hammering your parents out of bed on their day off so you could tune in to their prime shows. Dexter’s Laboratory was one of the best, so go back to a simpler time where it was totes believable that a ten year old could hide a lab in his bedroom and not rise suspicion from the electricity bill.

When you want… total dramz

Pretty Little Liars
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Drama upon drama, upon drama with a dash of drama for added measure. Unlike most teen-dramas though, this actually has a malevolent story-line. Murder, guys. This show’s filled with twists and turns, so you really have to keep up with the story otherwise you’ll find yourself drowning.

Gossip Girl
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The first few series of this are great. You relish the ups and downs of the Upper East Side, and really root for the characters. Depending on your disposition though, you may find yourself getting a bit pissed off with these #RichKidProbs, and after a while the story line gets a bit repetitive. Try it out for a while though, you may love it. XOXO. 

90210
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Rebooted from the popular late 90’s show that your mum probably raves about, this is also filled to the brim with #RichKidProbs. However, this is a lot less repetitive than Gossip Girl, so it keeps you gripped all the way through.

When you want… something scary

American Horror Story
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I’m going to save you some time straight off the bat and tell you to skip series three (Coven), because it’s sucks a bag of balls. Other than that though, this is hands down one of the best shows on Netflix. Each series concentrates on a new creepy story line, from a haunted house to a lunatic asylum, but they often recycle the amazingly talented cast.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer
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As well as being a total blast from the past, Buffy is one of the best things that have ever happened to the horror/fantasy genre. Go back to Sunnydale and get re-acquainted with the Scoobies, and put aside some time to drool over Spike (or Angel, whatever floats your boat).

Bates Motel
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Although I wasn’t initially sold on an extension of Psycho, it’s actually a really interesting, well put together series. Concentrating on the relationship between the infamous Norman Bates and his mother, who open up a hotel and are followed by a series of incidents.

When you want… a fantasy 

Once Upon A Time
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It’s Disney, but more acceptable on an adult level. Featuring all of your favorite Disney princesses and Villains, Once Upon A Time is based in a small town that’s under the curse because of the Evil Queen. It’s a roller coaster of emotions as they try to return to their own world.

Grimm
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Even more fantasy to come here; Grimm takes on the original fairy tales and manipulates them into more sinister tales. Nick must keep a balance between reality and fantasy, while juggling his ‘normal’ job and life too.

Firefly
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I’ll never stop being surprised at how few people know about Firefly. Set mainly on board Serenity, between various planets and moons, the show is essentially a space-western. That’s putting it very simply though, as Firefly makes it its business to challenge the typical sci-fi genre, pulling in stories of love, family and survival.

When you want… something everyone’s talking about

Breaking Bad
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Cult favorite Breaking Bad follows Walter White, a critically ill cancer patient and his unexpected sidekick Jesse Pinkman, as they, well… make meth. Turning away from his typical suburban life, Walter becomes a major player in the drug market in order to pay for his treatment.

Orange Is The New Black
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OITNB is the show on everyone’s lips at the mo’, especially since they’ve debuted their third season. The Netflix original series is set in a women’s-only prison, and the inmates that inhabit it. It’s based on the true story of protagonist Piper Chapman, who was sent to prison for drug smuggling in her past.

Dexter
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This may be a bit of an oldie with all things considered, but Dexter is interesting and complex in equal measures. Dexter’s a forensic expert that moonlights as a serial killer (well, they say rent in Miami is high), bringing his own personal brand of justice to people he thinks escaped the law.

When you want… a bit of reality 

RuPaul’s Drag Race
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If you’re looking for sass, you’ve come to the right place. On the hunt to find the next star in drag, RuPaul provides the role of presenter, mentor and inspiration for the show in a drag-racing theme.

Educating Yorkshire
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Be a fly on the wall at Thornhill Community Academy, a secondary school in Yorkshire, as the teachers and staff deal with every day education problems, from schoolyard bullies to overworked staff. This is an especially great series as it gives you a real insight into the education system and the strain put on professionals.

Made In Chelsea
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Oh, to see how the other half lives. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or you’ve only caught the odd episode, you can now re-live it all from the very beginning. While you’re drowning in a sea of Cartier and Gucci, you’ll find yourself with favorites, and thinking of others as your own personal frenemies.

What are your top Netflix recommendations? Let me know in the comments below, or on Twitter at @dimmickhead!